I’ve been living life based on numbers. What do I mean by that? 

Call me crazy but I catch myself counting in my head for no good reason. I do have reason but I realize it isn’t a good one. I use to look for angel numbers as though 4:44 pm was more than just symbols on my digital device but a direct message from heaven.

I count those to be symptoms of the numbers game.

Numbers are helpful. They’ve helped me set goals and manifest them. Mental, physical, emotional, social, educational and career goals. 

In 2015 I graduated with a Master’s Degree. In 2021 I set the goal of saying my affirmations every day. In 2022 I set the goal of reading one book a month on top of every other goal. 

Every year I look at my network and evaluate how much it’s grown. Every year I look at my earnings. Every year I look at how much exposure I’ve gotten. How many eyes have seen my work. 

But to be completely honest I’m tired of numbers. 

Yes numbers are helpful but is there a point where they become detrimental? Are affirmations helpful when I’m stressed out about saying them? Is it beneficial for me to read a book when my focus is not comprehension and enjoyment? 

I’ve watched many motivational videos emphasizing the importance of discipline. As they say without discipline we won’t reach our goals. Discipline and numbers go hand in hand. 

And while I generally agree with that statement I think they are missing the point.

Without heart, there’s no desire to reach a goal. Without heart, a book is just paper pages with symbols on them. Without heart, affirmations become clanging cymbals. 

Living with heart creates balance. It provides purpose. Numbers do lie. They are not why we do what we do. Just tools to help us get where we want to go. 

We are why we do what we do.